From Stage Fright to Phone Might
Stepping out onto the stage was always nerve-racking, sometimes more, sometimes less but without fail every single time. Nervous because I was putting myself in a place of vulnerability. During 12 years of professional dance and theatre, I fell over in front of an audience, I had someone land on me, I split my head open, the zipper on my costume broke before going on stage, I forgot my lines, I got the choreography wrong, I sang out of tune, I missed my cue… you get the picture (which I probably also broke).
So many things can go wrong and invariably do at some point but it didn’t stop me from going on stage or getting jobs as a performer. My qualities as a dancer and performer were stronger than the hiccups… and to be fair most of the “mistakes” only I or my team knew about. The audience was blissfully unaware 95% of the time.
In one production there was only myself and my dance partner on stage. We miss-timed a lift and very smartly ended up flat on the floor, belly to belly, her on top of me, like mikado sticks. It felt like forever, lying there on my back, her on top of me, the music telling me I was not in the right place, the giggles from side stage becoming audible, the emptiness in my head starting to fill with - what the hell am I going to do now?
Did I feel stupid or embarrassed? At times, yes but did it stop me? No. We undertake a whole range of challenges in life where we put ourselves up for judgment. It’s good to remember that we usually do most of the judging… upon ourselves.
Making a phone call can have that same association, it’s a little performance where we feel on edge because we are invested, we don’t want to get things wrong or not know the answer and ultimately feel judged. That is normal. I’ll pick up the phone and ring anybody but, before certain calls, man I wish the floor would open up and swallow me rather than have to talk to that person.
That’s why I have strategies that help me cope with it, as I did before I went on stage, to be mentally prepared. Some simple cues that put me in the right space are a couple of deep breaths, getting up and walking around, smiling and most importantly reminding myself to listen.
Still nerve-racking? Hell yeah. Worth it? Definitely. The benefits have always outweighed the anxiety with hindsight.
A dance teacher had a mantra that still sticks with me today “You cannot learn to do it through osmosis”. At a certain point, you have to give it a go, it’s simple but not necessarily easy.
There is plenty of psychology and a range of strategies to support those who struggle with speaking on the phone. I will dive into that next time.
shapecutter has developed and designed workshops and training to address phone confidence that combines our background in psychology, performing arts and education. If you would like to know more visit our website.
